just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Randomize
