You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
