The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
It's official drugs can't kill me
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
