I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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