thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I need mimosas to revive my soul
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
