Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
