Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
