I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
