So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Text me some of your sweat
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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