It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
false alarm. still invincible.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
