he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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