Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
