how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
pray to the hookup gods
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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