how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
They took my balls.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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