I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
