I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
