is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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