I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
