It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
