i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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