I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Come on in and take your pants off
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