And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
