Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Randomize
