dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
