and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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