i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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