U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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