that's an acceptable place to lick
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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