I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
