After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
