So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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