Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
