It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Randomize
