when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
