I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
