so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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