The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
You took a bar mat shot.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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