In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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