Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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