so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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