i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
