Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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