Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
