I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
