just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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