i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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