So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Someone shattered a urinal.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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