Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
