Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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