I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
