Please, let me fuck your mom
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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