you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
