Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
you will always have a special place in my vag
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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