like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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